Helping Your Kids Through Moving

If you have a family and are planning a move, every family therapist in the world will encourage you to include all members. But how much? Let’s face it - moving is stressful, and be aware that more family members mean more opinions and added complexity to an already huge decision. 

After all, parenting can be stressful. Moving can be stressful too. 

Navigating Parenting and Moving together can be a slippery slope of emotions. 

Supporting your children with a significant life event of moving can be smoother and more inclusive when you appropriately involve them with your house search. 

There are many emotions involved in the house hunting and moving process. Family members may be feeling a variety of emotions and have different attitudes about relocating depending on the circumstances involved, the reason and the perceived impact and developmental understanding on every family member,

Most educators, psychologists and even real estate agents will recommend Involving your child or children in the moving process as much as you can. A child who feels their contribution is considered and valued is an integral part of the process. Children who believe their opinions count feel they are part of the decisions, and if they have awareness about the change coming in their lives, it will help lead them to acceptance and excitement a lot sooner. 

Here are some ways to include their ideas, value their opinions and minimize the confusion and stress in the house buying process. 

Dream Together

When you sit down to think about the criteria you need and the realistic “would be nice” dreams, include your children. Children love to imagine, so regardless of the ages of your children, making a practical list will help build anticipation, excitement and hope for the moving process. Affirm their unrealistic ideas, providing solutions that will address the root of the concept. For example, if your child wants a pool that is not necessarily realistic, you can assure them that you will find a home with access to a nearby pool to use. 

Role-Model Resilience and Patience

If you are dreading the process of selling and buying, your children will too. However, if you want them to have a positive attitude and accept change gracefully, your modelling will go a long way to demonstrate, teach and cope with the impending transition. Sometimes, moving results from difficult stress such as unemployment or divorce, so it can be difficult always to be glowing and positive. Finding strategies to cope with your own stress and labelling those with your children can go a long way to ease the discomfort and enhance the excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead. 

Prepare for the Process

Open houses, realtor meetings, purging and staging, and packing can lead to some boredom. Be prepared for the boredom that may ensue when children must be part of the moving process. Be thoughtful about what you are packing, including them in deciding what special toys or activities should be available throughout these moving days. Think through opportunities to have children scheduled with babysitters or playdates with friends and family to minimize the disruption during house hunting or packing. Of course, you can repay the favours once you are settled in your new home, but the key is to keep them optimistic about moving. 

Get Creative with Involving them.

There are many ways to involve your children in the house-hunting process. Let your child express what they like and don’t like in homes by browsing the internet with you or when you visit a home with them. Having your child draw or list their dream bedroom, ideal house, and a safe community will help them feel their voices heard and opinions count. There are always roles a child can be given to offering value and memories to the process. Give them an age-appropriate job such as taking photos of things you like about a house, making notes or creating “this or that” games about your search. Once you are in purge and pack mode, taping up boxes or writing the labels on contents can help make it fun. 

Make House Hunting a Family Adventure

House Hunting doesn’t have to be a tedious and dispised activity. If a weekend afternoon of open houses becomes a scavenger hunt, community activity, or ice cream outing as well, it adds some fun into the day. If you want your child(ren) to buy into a specific community, invest a little time checking out the local park, book store or bakery to help them get a taste of the neighbourhood you are looking at. Giving your children a community connection will help them get excited about their new life should you choose to move there. 

If you are reading this, your children are a big consideration in your moving plans. Make sure you choose a realtor who understands the importance of your children in your moving plans and the process. I have first-hand experience moving with children and would love to share my experience and brainstorm ideas to help your children be an informed and participatory members of your family’s Real Estate decisions. 

Great Tips on how to include your kid’s ideas in your house buying process. Value their opinions and minimize their confusion!